


wanna get better

by Buttercup_ghost



Series: morphine [1]
Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Bittersweet, F/F, Kaede akamatsu survival guide, New Dangan Ronpa V3 Spoilers, Please read the doujin I'm begging you, introspective, just gay introspective bullshit, kaede akamatsu survival strategy, not really angst not really fluff not really hurt/comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2019-05-02 02:23:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14534631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buttercup_ghost/pseuds/Buttercup_ghost
Summary: Shirogane was in love.





	wanna get better

Shirogane tsumugi was in love.

Kaede akamatsu was a surprise, in every way. When they first locked eyes, shirogane didn't think anything of it, only regarding her as a candidate—one of the last auditions, almost didn't make the cut—as just another character in her cast. She originally thought of a perfect storyline for her, one that (now made her sick) would end with her strung up above her beloved piano, but—

Team danganronpa wanted to try something new. 

At first, when she got the news, it was annoying. She had to scrap all of her work, rethink plotlines. 

Because this year, they'd be no boys. 

(She'd imagine Tenko would be very happy at that news, if she existed then.)

Or, more specifically, the boys and girls would be separate, in two different parts of the building, two different killing games. They were supposed to find each other near the would be third chapter, but now shirogane didn't know when they would. She didn't really know many things anymore, about her own story. Just like everyone else, she was traveling blind.

(But she dared not hope she became a part of fiction, a part of this world she loved so much.)

(Before Kaede, she never thought she could love anything other than danganronpa.)

The thing was, she wasn't sure she _cared_.

A week ago, she wouldn't have chosen anything over danganronpa. But now, she's here, Kaede pressing kisses into her collarbones and she feels like she could cry. An angel, too good to be real—that's what Kaede was. But if she could touch this angel, hold her in her arms for even just a second, it was worth it.

She didn't have control of monokuma. She didn't have control of the motives, or team danganronpa.

But team danganronpa didn't have control over her, either.

She had kaede. She had the flashback lights. She had motherkuma. 

She could fight them.

She could fight against everything she's ever loved, for this girl. It scares her that she's considering it, that she wants to do it, to forsake her lively hood for just a taste of her cherry chapstick, her lips, just to smell her hair as they embrace. It's pathetic how much she's effected her, how fast she's fallen for her strawberry lips. It's overwhelming, to the point she feels like she needs to cry, not because she's unhappy, but because she can't believe she crafted such a being, she can't believe she loves her, plain Jane  _tsumugi shirogane_ , and not _Junko enoshima_. That she loves the cosplayer and not the costume. It's surreal to her, really.

Her love was foreign.

Affection that she ate up, like a starving dog. She's always done that, with every passing glance and off handed complement towards her craft, her cosplay, any spare glance she got, when people stopped looking at her like she was seethrough, not even there, a ghost. But Kaede, she offers even more than glances and stares, her eyes warm and loving, so different from the critical glance of fellow cosplayers or the excited ramblings of a anime fan. They were loving, peircing through her to her very soul, stripping off her outside layers, the armor of fiction, and exposing her raw parts. _Seeing_ her. The real her.

It was all she ever wanted, really.

(It was all she's never had.)

It was so vulnerable, this love, a fluttering thing. It was like a butterfly, desperate to excape the confines of her rib cage. A part of her wanted to rip off its wings, to catch it in her palm and place it in a glass jar, where she could keep it forever. But if she did that, a glass would always be separating them, so close and yet unreachable. If she striped away it's wings, it would die. 

Another part of her wanted to let it go, be free, fly away with all of its wings intact. To sore above them all just like her heart did near her. And maybe, maybe, it would choose to flutter down to her, to kiss her fingers with its presence for a short while. For now, though, it remained in her chest, migrating down into her stomach when she got near.

Should she?

Should she betray team danganronpa?

She didn't know, but she did know Kaede made her want to be a better person.

(Someone she could be proud to call a girlfriend.)

She wanted to get better.


End file.
